2.07.2016

Birthdays


Another year of life behind me.  As I ring in another year for myself I've had the time to reflect on the past year.  I feel I have really come into my own in ways I hadn't yet learned about myself.  

I never knew I could be so strong, I come into my new age feeling stronger then I ever have in my entire life.  Strong both physically, mentally and emotionally.

I never knew I could be so dedicated & determined.  I have found an interest that I love, lifting, and have stuck with it.  Challenging myself daily.  Lifting longer, lifting heavier - physically challenging myself.  

I never knew I could love so much.  Everyday I feel my heart full not able to love more but with each new day and now new year my heart swells making room for more love.  The love for my family expands and with each child little snippits of things they do gets filed away in my heart for me to reflect on later allowing my love to swell even more.  The love for my husband has no boundaries and I feel like i'm entering my new year with my eyes, heart and body falling in love with him all over again.

I never felt love for myself until this past year.  Now I enter this new year of my life with a love and respect for myself that I didn't know possible.  I credit much of this on the weight loss I've experienced recently.  I shed a small person and have sculpted myself into a woman I am proud of.  Proud of the work I did.  All that exercise and good nutrition, that I controlled, that I made a conscious choice to make a priority that I turned into a lifestyle has given me the self confidence that I never had before.  I love myself for what I have done.  I am the same me but a much more clear headed, assertive and stronger person.  I love the woman I have become.  

I have always felt a little bit lost in this city.  Not quite understanding why.  But over the last year I have gained some new friends whom we've become fast friends and the feeling of being lost is gone.  I get to share my new year with this friends.  Creating new memories with these new people that put a smile on my face.  I also get to reminisce on old time and all the new shenanigans we can get into with my old friends, both near and far.  With age I learn how valuable these friendships can be and am thankful for the people who have stood by me all these years and continue to stand by me.  If I could I would give each of them a great big hug right now.

I'm no longer afraid of getting older, although a woman never shares her age.  With age I have grown into my own, as I mentioned.  It only took this long to figure that shit out.  I love who I am, who I've become.  I've fine tuned my likes and dislikes only keeping things in my life that I truly love.  I've learned to embrace who I am and no longer find it necessary to please others.  Much of this I already understand and have valued in my life but now I just know that it must be in the forefront.  I care about doing what makes me happy and understanding that doing what doesn't make me happy is just a waste of my time.

Happy Birthday to a wiser, stronger and much more "together" Amber.  I look forward to storming this new year of my life!

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