9.12.2014

Going Gray

Is going gray a good thing or a bad thing.  I know for certain its an unavoidable thing.  It happens to the best of us.  Some of us are lucky enough to go gray later in life while others go gray in their 20s.  Some of us luck out with a concentrated area of grayness and are left with an amazing streak of gray running through your hair, while others go gray totally evenly and are left with an head of all over silver then there are those that go salt and pepper.  My parents were the latter.  

I noticed my first few strands of gray hair at 30.  I, of course, immediately dyed my hair back to my usual dark, glossy, black.  I continued to dye my hair to hide the increasing number of grays,  At first my gray hairs were concentrated to a couple of little patches and overtime they scattered all over my head.  The last time I dyed my hair was in mid-march.  I added some red streaks and covered my roots to hide all the grays.  They have now all grown back and I haven't dyed my hair since.  I now have a few inches of growth.  And I hate looking at them every day.

I don't see my hair as badges of where I have been in life and all that I have accomplished.  I don't see it as being distinguished.  I don't see anything positive about the gray hair.  All I see is disruption in my normal, dark hair.  I see wirey strands at the top of my head and in my bangs.  I see myself aging right before my eyes.  

I don't feel like I should have gray hairs.  My mom, till this day, dyes her hair and is in complete denial about her grays.  My dad has had salt and pepper hair since his 40s and he is now 60.  Occasionally he will dye it but that's only because he's going on tour or is being filmed for something.  It really shouldn't be a surprise that I'm going gray at my age, but I don't have to be happy about it.

I want to be comfortable and just own the grays and just give no fucks about it but i'm not there yet.  I have taken the first step and chosen not to cover them anymore.  I feel that is just a losing battle because I am then part of the cycle.  Dying my roots every few weeks to hide a part of me.  I have a vision and that includes just letting it grow in and just be what it is.  As I get more grays I want to eventually get a great layered haircut and then just bleach out the dark hair and dye the dark silver to blend with the grays rather than the other way around.  I feel this route would call for less dying over all since any new growth would likely be dark roots, which is cool with me, and any new grays and gray growth will just blend right in.

I've been in talks with my hairdresser about this and she like it.  Although she confirmed what I thought, I have to live with my grays and just let them be.  Let them grow and fill in as much as possible and then I can turn myself into a silver fox!

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