2012: Mahalo for the Memories
In mere hours another year will come to a close 2012. It's crazy how these years fly by! I wish I could stop and take a moment and just close my eyes and watch the highlights (and low points, since we learn from things that defeat, challenge and scare us) of my year. You know like in movies when you quickly watch the seasons change and/or children grow, yeah, I want to close my eyes and see/do that. Just to soak in the year one last time before starting 2013.
2012 was a year of change for my family. We accomplished a lot, we all grew and we started a new chapter in our life, a chapter that will continue to grow in 2013.
2012 was the year I finally faced the realization I wasn't totally happy with my self, I was tired of feeling fat and sluggish. I was tired of being tired and not being able to have time for myself. I wanted time for myself where I could reflect, think, mentally catalog things and most importantly I wanted this all to cost e $0.00. Thus this was the year I've busted out and really got into exercising. I do it for me. It's been grounding and centering and calming for me. I feel better both mentally and physically. I'm losing weight that should never have attached to me in the first place. I don't feel guilty when I have a sweet or a calorie ridden beverage. I feel present for my kids and for my hubs. The fact that I fit in clothes I haven't fit in for years is totally a bonus. Doing this for myself has changed my overall attitude and feelings toward other things making me feel a zillion times better about myself and the world around me.
2012 was the year I continued to be unemployed. I was employed for a hot second with a great paying job that I could do from home. But those two points did not make the job ideal. The owners/ultimate bosses were micro-managing and completely unrealistic about how I should be doing in the job and expected big, big, big things from me when I still hadn't learned how to do my job. So yes I was employed for a second but then I abruptly and with no warning also resigned from said job. That old saying, "money isn't everything," is so true. My mental stability is way more important then any amount of money.
2012 was the year I loss my unemployment benefits due to said job. Because I quit I was also unable to resume my benefits thus losing all unemployment benefits before the technically ran out. Oh well.
2012 was the year T also lost a job due to "outsourcing the position," or so they say. Whatever.
2012 was the year I was able to really bond with my kids in ways I never thought I could. Being unemployed in 2012 was fantastic for my family life I was able to spend precious time with all my kids, being present for them in both play time, with being able to take them to extracurricular activities, to spend all the time needed on homework, cuddling on the couch watching movies, pushing them on the swings, creating crafts with them, and generally being able to be there whenever they needed me.
2012 was the year I felt like we really hit rock bottom financially (again). Shit happens, you know. As noted above, this was the year both T and I reached a point where we were both unemployed. Yes we had unemployment but being unemployed did not suddenly put our expenses on hold until we were in a better place. We paid our bills, we lived frugal, and we made it work. But shit happens and you pull through and you learn from it. No matter how broke I felt we were I always made sure this was seamless to my kids. This was not their problem to have to worry about and I know if it wasn't seamless my oldest would question and worry and stress. I felt good that although life was a bit of a juggling act through most of the year nothing was different for the kids.
2012 was the year we began to live more simply, less excess, more frugality. This felt really good and picking up tips on how to do so has been something I carry with me everyday and have just made part of my life not something I need or have to do.
2012 was the year I learned to care about what goes into my body and to live more consciously and healthily. As a result I cook a lot more, we eat out less as a family, my kids eat better and its a very rare or special circumstance when we allow foods that have bright orange cheese in our house. My family has more variety in their diet, are trying new things and even liking new things.
2012 was the year I learned to organize my life. Everything from the run of the house to my personal being. The best house organization of the house, which I have created is my meal planning menu and creating freezer meals (*i'll do a separate post about this in the new year).
2012 was the year my husband job searched insanely and we suspected that if want either of us to find a great job that provided well financially we may need to leave Portland. Ultimately T landed an awesome job which I believe has been realized to be a dream job.
2012 was the year we relocated to a new state for my husbands job. This was a hard blow for my boys, they planted roots: school, sports, activities, friends. This was such a point of conflict for me. I had come to terms with where I lived, I enjoyed the city, I was familiar with places and things, I had friends, I had things I did with the kids and didn't have to think about where or what we were going to do or go. But jobs are important, security is important. So 2012 was the year we left Portland, OR for Seattle, WA.
2012 was the year Crash was 100% potty trained at 2-years old and we are ending the year with no need for bed time pull ups for her!!!
2012 has been a crazy year, like I said. We had downs. We had ups. We had a major change. We said goodbye to old friends and are making new friends. We began creating a new chapter in our life. We learned we are resilient. We learned as a family we can overcome and pull through anything. We learned that it is important no matter how big a problem or crisis you may have make it look invisible to your kids and allow them to live their problem free kid life. I learned it is important to indulge in me time. I learned being a better me makes me a better wife, a better mom an overall better person.
2012 was a year we bounced back and I will absorb and learn a lot from this year and am ready to jump in eyes closed, hands in the air into 2013!