11.12.2009

Real Life

Maternity leave is just around the corner. Im kinda dying as it is, I want to relax and lay around and nest. But I chose my leave date. I knew if i put my mind to it I could last as long as I have. I don't like it but I can do it. As much as I'd love the luxury of lying around I really wanted to keep earning a full paycheck for as long as I could. I strategically worked it out so I'll continue full pay through the end of this month. I get paid leave but it isn't my full pay. Not complaining because something is better then nothing.

In preperation for my leave I've been reevaluating any extraneous expense. Cutting back on what I don't need for a little bit. Right now i'm deciding on scaling back on my cable. I currently have every movie channel, sure we may watch them on a pretty regular basis but maybe while i'm on leave we just get one movie group like HBO and ditch the rest for a bit. Or even better if we got rid of all paid movie channels until I go back to work. We've lived with basic cable in the past we can do it again, and i'm just talking movie channels. Movies? Well I have Netflix and i've scaled down to the one movie at a time. One sore spot is T's wireless fob for his laptop. I don't think he uses it as much as he thought he would and because of that I want to get rid of it. That alone ups our mobile bill to an area I don't want to accept. I think it may be worth paying the cancellation fee instead of paying for the service every month.

I know a lot of people are scaling back these days. I think its good. I think there are lots of people living excessively and don't really realize it until its to late. Sometimes I think if it were just T and I we would easily fall into the boat but having my kids have grounded me in ways I could never imagine. Sure I still like to treat myself to things every now and again but in no way am i frivolous about it. I have others to consider now and do i want to allocate the moola to shoes or for groceries. Speaking of food. I'm so proud of us we have totally scaled back on our eating out. We would do it way to much. T and I do have breakfast out together quite frequently but really thats about our only grown up time together in a day. The other indulgence I can't give up or scale back, right now, is my babysitter. She comes once per week, usually for no more then 4 hours, she doesn't charge us much and T and I get some grown up time. Im totally taking advantage of this now because who knows what will happen once we have the baby.

The Oregon unemployment rate is pretty nuts, 11.5%. I don't know what California's is anymore but I know at one point it was neck and neck with CA. i feel lucky I have my job. T does his thing but I am fully aware that a lot of it falls on my shoulders and I am grateful everyday I wake up and have a job to go to. Needless to say I don't rock the boat and I do what is expected of me and I try to do it the best I can. I worry a lot. And having the added responsibility to make sure my family has food, health insurance, clothes, shoes and a roof over their heads does stress me out. I live day by day and many of those days I do hope for the best. My husband works hard and I am inspired by his determination. I let him do whatever it is he needs to do, he wants to be a great provider and I do help him and support him as much as I can. But I do worry. He does tend to get over his head at times but he finds his way.

Im so proud of T and all that he does. He's a great dad to the kids. I've seen how some of our male freinds are with their kids and so many of them are just so disconnected its sad. Not T he engages with the boys. He is active in what they do and what they learn. He is their teacher and their dad. I feel lucky that he is the one I have and he is their dad. Happy Birthday T (2-days late on the blog)!

I read this article today and it just made me sad. To bad people don't realize changes are needed until its to late.

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