Sometimes I think that if I set goals or projects up for myself i'll feel more fulfilled. But, when I don't get to them I feel like I totally set myself up for failure. I ride it out and do it all over again with simpler goals/projects. I do it again and agin "dumbing" down my goals until its just one measly out of the ordinary task. Ultimately I realize I need "me" time. I need time to unwind, zone out, do something with a physical, visual outcome. My life feels so hectic and I know it will become even more so which is even more reason to relish in "me" time. I've been reading many blogs lately pertaining to cooking and crafting.
Most of the little projects i've done so far have all been food projects. It's been somewhat therapeutic and of course my household of guys loving it. They are getting fresh baked breads, albeit more deserty but whatever; crisps, blondies etc. I've also been sharpening my cooking skills, exploring new recipes and cooking with a larger variety of proteins and ingredients. Again, very therapeutic. I've also been venturing out into the world of sauces and expanding my repertoire of pasta dishes. It's amazing how much more enjoyable cooking can be when you have a well thought out kitchen before you. In my old house I hated cooking. There was a lack of counterspace, the layout was "eh," probably the best out of the space but still not as ideal as I would have liked (and that's even post remodel). But this house makes cooking enjoyable.
The kitchen has really become the space our family gathers in. Its a large open space with one wall made entirely out of glass with a view of Southwest Portland including a view of the Willamette River. Theres an eat in area, counter w/barstools attached to a great big island with a giant space behind the island before you even reach the stove and there are no walls its a giant open kitchen space that blends into a family room. It's large and wonderful. Im enjoying cooking, the kids enjoy sitting up at the barstools keeping me company and eating/reading/playing while doing so and if I'm not using the stove the kids love playing with cars on the floor area between the island and the stove. The people who remodeled this place really thought out the open layout. I never really got the whole "kitchen as a gathering place" concept because I had never really experienced that. But now I get it. It is the heart of the home and we all enjoy hanging out in it.
Halloween was nice. The boys were The Flash and Michelangelo from TMNT. They both had Halloween parties at school and were super excited to wear their costumes on Friday. Saturday evening we took them trick or treating around our neighborhood. We were aware of all the kids that lived around here and were actually really happy with the evenings street traffic. Unfortunately at no part during the evening were we home to pass out candy but I wasn't willing to cut my kids night short to do so. We didnt stray far from our place and did the big loop of our street. We're on a hill so the loop is going downhill in one direction but having to come swooping back up a hill to get home. We have some people on our street that run a glass studio so they made hand blown glass "candy" as their treats. They are actually really cool and T and I want to buy some strong magnets to glue on to the back of them. Some neighbors passed out money, others little toys and trinkets, while a majority were actually very generous with their handing out of candies. The kids have an modest amount of loot and thankfully barely any gum or hard candies (which are big no no's in this house).
I'm down to 5 1/2 weeks left of my pregnancy. Not gonna lie, i'm HUGE. Really, really huge. I think I may be bigger then I was with either of the boys. My doctor is slightly concerned as my tummy is measuring a little larger then it should be. I have an appointment on Tuesday and if it's grown more i'll get to have another ultrasound which I've been secretly hoping for. My mom bought her tickets to come up and help out for December. I'm so glad she'll be here for a month and will be able to spend both V's birthday and Christmas with us. I have 3 more weeks of work then i'll finally be on leave which should give me 3 weeks of that much needed "me" time before the little one arrives. I'm hoping i'll be motivated enough to whip out my sewing machine and crank out a few little dresses for the baby.
I've been here for 3 months now and I am still not used to 1) people being nice and polite all the time and 2) how friggin slow everyone drives! The nice thing freaks me out. I'm not saying people were not nice in CA, they were generally but depending where you were you could encounter a lot more attitude then you were bargaining for. I haven't encountered that attitude here. People are nice and helpful and very polite. I almost feel like someone is playing a joke on me. I've slowly let down my guard and accepted it but i'm not 100% there. On the flipside of the niceness is the driving. OH LORD! the speed limits are insanely slow and people happily oblige the maximum 35mph limits on the road. I think my road rage was out of control when we got here. It's by no means gone but i'm slowly enjoying the "cruising" speeds laid out before me. Everyone here drives slow and rarely do I ever see anyone even going 5 mph over the speed limits. Its not only 35mph, there is of course variation depenidng what type of road you are on. It really reminds me of Hawaii's ridiculous speed limits but at least in Hawaii people speed. What frustrating here is that most people follow the speed limits and when you're on a two lane road you cannot past anyone. I've been tempted on numerous occassions to just drive in the shoulder or the opposite lane of traffic just to sneak by but I've made a judgement call not to do it. Probably not the best thing considering I have a CA license and we all know how these Oregonians hate Californians.
T and I have been putting forth a big effort to encourage the kids creative outlet. I recently updated their arts and crafts bin with some new supplies and we've become great at stock piling things like cardboard, bottle caps and toilet paper rolls. We are having fun joining in with the kids and creating little tchotchkes with them. I've found some great online resources for projects we can do. This has been something that the kids really enjoy and T and I really enjoy therapeutically. While T was out at a work function one afternoon I hauled in a bunch of old cardboard and built the kids a giant fort and we also built a big firepit (out of boxes and construction paper) to keep their fort warm. After a few days though the fort become unruly and mutant like since the kids kept trying to make it larger and larger until finally I had to put my foot down and dismantle it. However the firepit now lives in their room as their fireplace. Just this past week I found a craft project for a fort that involves making it out of fabric and you use your dining chairs as the structure for it. This would be perfect since it would be able to assemble and disassemble on a daily basis if need be. Since I can control the maximum size of the fort, coupled with the easy assembly and dissassembly of it, I can afford to be generous with the space. I know I have some spare bolts of fabric around that I can use and am really looking forward to making this for the kids.
As with my other pregnancies I've finally reached the point where I am craving a glass of wine or a glass of beer. I see commercials or tv shoes and people are casually sipping away on their beverage and I'm practically salivatig and drooling on myself. I wondered if the hospital would frown upon a post delivery half glass of wine? I can barely take it anymore. Good thing is the days and weeks are ticking away and a little alcoholic beverage is nearly within reach.
I recently found out some friends of ours have decided to get a divorce. Their son was in K's class in Burbank and we actually became pretty close to them over the last year. It's amicable but still sad. Although I don't know the details of their situation I couldn't imagine not being without T. I think if we didn't have kids that would be one thing but throwing some muchkins into the mix shakes things up. Oddly though I think our arguments were much more evil when we didn't have kids. I suppose it was just easier then to throw in the towel and call it a day if need be then it would be now. I've tried to think what life would be like if the kids were shuffled between us and we were both single parents. I can barely muster up an image of what life would be like. Separate from being a single parent I would be single. Just the thought makes me cringe. I see some of my single friends all they want is to meet someone and get their life started and then immediately kicked into high gear to make up for lost time. I would hate to be in that game. Seriously, seriously hate it. I wouldn't want to be out their dating let alone finding the time to do so. So back to my point, I can't imagine life without T. I think he feels the same way. But to drive the point home I'll make it known to him when his birthday rolls around next week. I know the guy likes nothing more then to know he's appreciated and loved.
Okay this post has been sorta sappy I know that. It's just about 4am and I've been typing for 30-40 minutes. That's what happens with a lack of sleep, being tired but can't sleep, being on the verge of delirium. I'll try to keep posts like this at a minimum. Okay?