It's Late And I'm Awake

Lately i've been having lots of trouble falling asleep. I'll reach the point of tiredness then something will happen, a noise, begginings of a bad dream, pee break whatever it is and I'm up. I can't settle myself back down and i'm wide awake. Tonight is one of those nigts. Its not extraordinarily late but its late for me. I'll to do a little reading and hopefully that will help tire me out and i'll pass out for a few hours before waking for work.

Someone's been sick in my house every week. I swear we've been switching off with very little overlap. Just when we thought we were all in good shape the little one started sniffling and having a bad runny nose. Then on Thursday night he was coughing a lot and his nose was running real bad and I noticed his eye was crusty. I immediately told T I thought it was pink eye. We'd clean up the ooze and soon enough it was oozing again. Friday it was all good. Nobody said anything about ooze so we figured it had something to do with the cold although pink eye was still on my back burner. Friday night the ooze came back full blown. Two eyes now. Saturday morning he was totally crusty. Even after T cleaned out his crusted shut eyes they were tinged light pink and oozey to the max. We took him to the emergency clinic and the doc confirmed the pink eye and prescribed some drops. We started the drops immediately and as of today absolutely no ooze, not even a little. She said if we start the drops on Saturday he would be in good shape for school on Monday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that K doesn't get it. I've been adamant about keeping surfaces wiped up with clorox antibacterial wipes, and washing the kids hands so hopefully it works and we don't have to go through this a second time.

Thanksgiving already! We're heading out to the relatives in Bell Canyon. I haven't seen them in a long time so it should be a nice catch up event. We've had other invites which is fantastic and i'm sad we're not attending as I'd love to spend the time with friends but family comes first. We have some new friends and they were so sweet to invite us over, even though I felt so bad to turn down. Like us, they are orphans with all other family out of state. Granted T has cousins we'll be having our meal with, they aren't super close to us but they are very generous to have us over nearly every year. Thanksgiving means a short work week and i'm totally looking forward to it but not the return to the office.

Layoffs are happening the week we return from the long weekend. Everyone is afraid. Unlike the last round of layoffs in February which was very open and we reeived a lot of communication and even a heads up about our dept being affected, this time it is so hush hush that its nerve wracking. I believe we will be affected, again. I believe the total amount will be greater then what was published in most media outlets. I am not keeping my spirits up as I have no control of the situation. I am praying for the best. I think its going to be a very bleak day. I'm worried. I don't like to think "i'm safe." I'm not worried for me I'm worried about my family should I lose my job. The job market sucks right now, as does many other things, I really don't know where we will be without my income. I feel like my company fucked up big time and we, the employees, are paying the price. No further comment.

Hawaii is just around the corner. I'm looking forward to it. I just want to get out of here. The more I think about the more sure I am about moving. Hawaii was and will be a great escape and has and will continue to clear my head and allow me to figure things out. If there were no kiddos involved I would have hightailed it out of here this year but with the kids there is lots of consideration and coordination. T and I have decided we want to move and have 2 places in mind. We're not being hasty about it since the kids are in a great preschool but the big plan is figure out logistics and living and bail out in time for K to start kinder. Keeping my fingers crossed we can get our shit together in enough time to do this!!!!

Damn i'm rambling. Tired but not tired. I've crossed over to the darkside where things just don't make sense anymore. Maybe I should turn this off and just read.

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