8.13.2008

Way More Then Half Way Through

Wow, August 13 already! Where did the time go? Memorial Day seems just like a few weeks ago. When work gets hectic and the days begin to fly by I get a little depressed. Time just flying past me in a blink of an eye. I look at the pictures of the kids at the places we've been to over the past many weekends. All of the trips seem recent but some of them happened months ago. The time I want to spend with the kids doesn't seem like the quality time I had hoped for or imagined. I make the most of my downtime with the family with no dire need to spend it out alone or with girl friends. Don't get me wrong I make time for it but I enjoy hanging with my family (even when the kids work my last nerve). I've made a concious effort not to bring work home or at the least limit the time I do work to when the kids are sound asleep. It's worth it to me to sacrifice a few hours of sleep for the added time to play with the kids and relax and read with them. T is back to the grind after chilling out for a bit, not such a great thing but he's doing it on his terms which is a good thing. He's so sensitive when I bring up work issues because everything in his eyes is "urgent." Whatever, I try. Anyway I need to start re-evaluating the time I spend with my kids. I want to make the most of the time we have together. I want to make sure they feel like they were able to share their day with me, show me the newest lego creation or train track configuration or whatever it is they created. I want them to know that they are first. Although I make sure all this happens every day they are still babies and I want them to know that when they need me i'm there. With time passing so quickly I don't want to miss out anything. The kids are great at understanding my need for a half hour of downtime and are more then happy to let me sit and read for a bit and T is great at ensuring that happens and he gladly bathes the kids everynight so I get that time. On top of all of that we have recently carved out time once a week to have our alone time. We have a wonderful sitter, who we've been using a for a little while, the kids seem to love her and she has graciously accepted our offer to come watch the kids once a week (and ad hoc as needed) so we can get out and see a movie, go shopping, grab some food or drink, just grown up time. Slowly I'm making the time to slow things down and enjoy what I have with those that I love. It's an awful feeling realizing how quickly time has gone by and although things have happened not really absorbing and taking a step back to soak it all in and ultimately just feeling old and tired as a result. This is my change, my treat to myself.

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